Advent Bible Study

A Guide to Bible Study Methods Found in Scripture

  • Bible Study Books in Print

    Collection of books with Bible Stories and examples showing how to study scripture.

    Click here to see a list of Books in Print

  • List of Online Bible Study eBooks Available

    Advent Bible Study online eBook Store

    Advent Bible Study online eBook Store

  • Stories on the Gospel of Matthew now available as eBooks

    Short stories on the life and ministry of Jesus

    This Ebook series on Matthew contains more than 100 stories about the people Jesus ministered to as a set of downloads at a modest price.

  • Understanding Parables According To The Gospel Of Mark

    Jesus explains how to understand parables

    This book explains how Jesus taught simple lessons so His disciples could understand all parables and scripture with simple lessons a child can understand.

  • Jesus Teaches About Relationships

    There is a difference between a worldly relationship and one made in Heaven.

    Learn what Jesus taught about relationships established in Eden

  • Understanding the Hebrew Messiah

    The Gospel of Luke

    A book based on Luke's Gospel showing the work of God's Spirit in Jesus' ministry.

  • John Chapters 1-10 eBook

    An in depth look at Jesus' ministry from John's Gospel

    Learn how Jesus followed God's Spirit throughout His ministry.

  • The Tabernacle “T” is for The Cross

  • The Tabernacle, Temple, and Sanctuary: Genesis 1 to Exodus 27

    The Tabernacle, Temple, and Sanctuary: Genesis 1 to Exodus 27

    Series of books on the Tabernacle, its construction, the services and priesthood.

  • Prophecies Fulfilled Genesis to Deuteronomy and Joshua to Chronicles

    It makes sense to learn about the prophecies fulfilled before trying to figure out those still in the future.

    Understanding Prophecies Fulfilled is the key to understanding all prophecy. Stories, studies and study methods explained.

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 83 other followers

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 83 other followers

  • © Copyright 2009 – 2016 Dennis Herman

    Material may be copied and shared with permission at AdventBible@gmailcom. Please include the following information.
    © Copyright 2009 - 2016 Dennis Herman
    https://adventbiblestudy.wordpress.com/
    Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
    AdventBible@gmailcom

  • The Tabernacle, Temple, and Sanctuary

    A new verse by verse look at the Tabernacle

    1st in a new series of books looking at the Tabernacle just as Moses recorded the details.

  • 10% Off Print Books

    10% off Advent Bible Study Print Books discount code

    Click here to get your code for 10% off Advent Bible Study books in print only from CreateSpace

Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) The Secret of Family Unity

Posted by adventbiblestudy on August 8, 2011


Sanctity of the Family Circle.–There is a sacred circle around every family which should be preserved. No other one has any right in that sacred circle. The husband and wife should be all to each other. The wife should have no secrets to keep from her husband and let others know, and the husband should have no secrets to keep from his wife to relate to others. The heart of his wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wife’s faults. Never should either party indulge in a joke at the expense of the other’s feelings. Never should either the husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others, for frequently indulging in this foolish and what may seem perfectly harmless joking will end in trial with each other and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around every family. {AH 177.1}

The home circle should be regarded as a sacred place, a symbol of heaven, a mirror in which to reflect ourselves. Friends and acquaintances we may have, but in the home life they are not to meddle. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness, trust. {AH 177.2}

The Secret of Family Unity.–The cause of division and discord in families and in the church is separation from Christ. To come near to Christ is to come near to one another. The secret of true unity in the church and in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties–though there will be much of this to do–but union with Christ. {AH 179.1}

Picture a large circle, from the edge of which are many lines all running to the center. The nearer these lines approach the center, the nearer they are to one another. {AH 179.2}

Thus it is in the Christian life. The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we shall be to one another. God is glorified as His people unite in harmonious action. {AH 179.3}

A Fitting Resolve.–I must grow in grace at home and wherever I may be, in order to give moral power to all my actions. At home I must guard my spirit, my actions, my words. I must give time to personal culture, to training and educating myself in right principles. I must be an example to others. I must meditate upon the word of God night and day and bring it into my practical life. The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, is the only sword which I can safely use. {AH 180.2}

God’s Original Plan for Education.–The system of education established in Eden centered in the family. Adam was “the son of God” (Luke 3:38), and it was from their Father that the children of the Highest received instruction. Theirs, in the truest sense, was a family school. {AH 181.1}

In the divine plan of education as adapted to man’s condition after the fall, Christ stands as the representative of the Father, the connecting link between God and man; He is the great teacher of mankind. And He ordained that men and women should be His representatives. The family was the school, and the parents were the teachers. {AH 181.2}

Teach your children to love truth because it is truth, and because they are to be sanctified through the truth and fitted to stand in the grand review that shall erelong determine whether they are qualified to enter into higher work and become members of the royal family, children of the heavenly King. {AH 186.1}

How sad it is that many parents have cast off their God-given responsibility to their children, and are willing that strangers should bear it for them! They are willing that others should labor for their children and relieve them of all burden in the matter. {AH 187.3}

Many who are now bemoaning the waywardness of their children have only themselves to blame. Let these look to their Bibles and see what God enjoins upon them as parents and guardians. Let them take up their long-neglected duties. They need to humble themselves and to repent before God for their neglect to follow His directions in the training of their children. They need to change their own course of action and to follow the Bible strictly and carefully as their guide and counselor. {AH 187.4}

Parents to Become Acquainted With Children.– Some parents do not understand their children and are not really acquainted with them. There is often a great distance between parents and children. If the parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial influence upon them. {AH 190.1}

The father and the mother should work together in full sympathy with each other. They should make themselves companions to their children. {AH 190.2}

Parents should study the best and most successful manner of winning the love and confidence of their children, that they may lead them in the right path. They should reflect the sunshine of love upon the household. {AH 190.3}

Parents to Be Child’s Confidants.–Parents should encourage their children to confide in them and unburden to them their heart griefs, their little daily annoyances and trials. {AH 190.5}

Kindly instruct them and bind them to your hearts. It is a critical time for children. Influences will be thrown around them to wean them from you which you must counteract. Teach them to make you their confidant. Let them whisper in your ear their trials and joys. {AH 191.1}

Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties and, when they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter just as they view it before the parents and ask their advice. Who are so well calculated to see and point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand the peculiar temperaments of their own children as well as they? The mother who has watched every turn of the mind from infancy, and is thus acquainted with the natural disposition, is best prepared to counsel her children. Who can tell as well what traits of character to check and restrain as the mother, aided by the father? {AH 191.2}

Ask and Receive.–In their important work parents must ask and receive divine aid. Even if the character, habits, and practices of parents have been cast in an inferior mold, if the lessons given them in childhood and youth have led to an unhappy development of character, they need not despair. The converting power of God can transform inherited and cultivated tendencies; for the religion of Jesus is uplifting. “Born again” means a transformation, a new birth in Christ Jesus. {AH 206.1}

Let us instruct our children in the teachings of the word. If you will call, the Lord will answer you. He will say, Here I am; what would you have Me do for you? Heaven is linked with earth that every soul may be enabled to fulfill his mission. The Lord loves these children. He wants them brought up with an understanding of their high calling. {AH 206.2}

Divine Power Will Unite With Human Effort.— Without human effort divine effort is in vain. God will work with power when in trustful dependence upon Him parents will awake to the sacred responsibility resting upon them and seek to train their children aright. He will co-operate with those parents who carefully and prayerfully educate their children, working out their own and their children’s salvation. He will work in them to will and to do of His own good pleasure. {AH 206.5}

Human effort alone will not result in helping your children to perfect a character for heaven; but with divine help a grand and holy work may be accomplished. {AH 207.1}

When you take up your duties as a parent in the strength of God, with a firm determination never to relax your efforts nor to leave your post of duty in striving to make your children what God would have them, then God looks down upon you with approbation. He knows that you are doing the best you can, and He will increase your power. He will Himself do the part of the work that the mother or father cannot do; He will work with the wise, patient, well-directed efforts of the God-fearing mother. Parents, God does not propose to do the work that He has left for you to do in your home. You must not give up to indolence and be slothful servants, if you would have your children saved from the perils that surround them in the world. {AH 207.2}

Cling to Jesus When Trials Come.–Parents, gather the rays of divine light which are shining upon your pathway. Walk in the light as Christ is in the light. As you take up the work of saving your children and maintaining your position on the highway of holiness, the most provoking trials will come. But do not lose your hold. Cling to Jesus. He says, “Let him take hold of My strength, that he may make peace with Me; and he shall make peace with Me.” Difficulties will arise. You will meet with obstacles. Look constantly to Jesus. When an emergency arises, ask, Lord, what shall I do now? {AH 207.3}

The harder the battle, the greater their [parents] need of help from their heavenly Father, and the more marked will be the victory gained. {AH 208.1}

The Head of the Family Firm.–The husband and father is the head of the household. The wife looks to him for love and sympathy and for aid in the training of the children; and this is right. The children are his as well as hers, and he is equally interested in their welfare. The children look to the father for support and guidance; he needs to have a right conception of life and of the influences and associations that should surround his family; above all, he should be controlled by the love and fear of God and by the teaching of His word, that he may guide the feet of his children in the right way. . . . {AH 211.4}

The father should do his part toward making home happy. Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his home with smiles and pleasant words. {AH 211.5}

The Lawmaker and Priest.–All members of the family center in the father. He is the lawmaker, illustrating in his own manly bearing the sterner virtues: energy, integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and practical usefulness. The father is in one sense the priest of the household, laying upon the altar of God the morning and evening sacrifice. The wife and children should be encouraged to unite in this offering and also to engage in the song of praise. Morning and evening the father, as priest of the household, should confess to God the sins committed by himself and his children through the day. Those sins which have come to his knowledge and also those which are secret, of which God’s eye alone has taken cognizance, should be confessed. This rule of action, zealously carried out by the father when he is present or by the mother when he is absent, will result in blessings to the family. {AH 212.1}

To Walk With God.–The father . . . will bind his children to the throne of God by living faith. Distrusting his own strength, he hangs his helpless soul on Jesus and takes hold of the strength of the Most High. Brethren, pray at home, in your family, night and morning; pray earnestly in your closet; and while engaged in your daily labor, lift up the soul to God in prayer. It was thus that Enoch walked with God. The silent, fervent prayer of the soul will rise like holy incense to the throne of grace and will be as acceptable to God as if offered in the sanctuary. To all who thus seek Him, Christ becomes a present help in time of need. They will be strong in the day of trial. {AH 212.4}

Maturity of Experience Called For.–A father must not be as a child, moved merely by impulse. He is bound to his family by sacred, holy ties. {AH 213.1}

What his influence will be in the home will be determined by his knowledge of the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He has sent. “When I was a child,” Paul says, “I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” The father is to stand at the head of his family, not as an overgrown, undisciplined boy, but as a man with manly character and with his passions controlled. He is to obtain an education in correct morals. His conduct in his home life is to be directed and restrained by the pure principles of the word of God. Then he will grow up to the full stature of a man in Christ Jesus. {AH 213.2}

A Fitting Prayer for a Quick-tempered Husband.– Do not allow the vexations of your business to bring darkness into your home life. If, when little things occur that are not exactly as you think they should be, you fail to reveal patience, long forbearance, kindness, and love, you show that you have not chosen as a companion Him who so loved you that He gave His life for you, that you might be one with Him. {AH 214.1}

In the daily life you will meet with sudden surprises, disappointments, and temptations. What saith the word? “Resist the devil,” by firm reliance upon God, “and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.” “Let him take hold of My strength, that he may make peace with Me; and he shall make peace with Me.” Look unto Jesus at all times and in all places, offering a silent prayer from a sincere heart that you may know how to do His will. Then when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard for you against the enemy. When you are almost ready to yield, to lose patience and self-control, to be hard and denunciatory, to find fault and accuse–this is the time for you to send to heaven the prayer, “Help me, O God, to resist temptation, to put all bitterness and wrath and evilspeaking out of my heart. Give me Thy meekness, Thy lowliness, Thy long-suffering, and Thy love. Leave me not to dishonor my Redeemer, to misinterpret the words and motives of my wife, my children, and my brethren and sisters in the faith. Help me that I may be kind, pitiful, tenderhearted, forgiving. Help me to be a real house-band in my home and to represent the character of Christ to others.” {AH 214.2}

A Dictatorial and Dominating Husband; Words of Counsel.–Your life would be much happier if you did not feel that absolute authority is vested in you because you are a husband and father. Your practice shows that you misinterpret your position–house-band. You are nervous and dictatorial and often manifest great lack of judgment, so that however you may regard your course at such times, it cannot be made to appear consistent to your wife and children. When once you have taken a position, you are seldom willing to withdraw from it. You are determined to carry out your plans, when many times you are not pursuing the right course and should see it. What you need is more, far more, of love, of forbearance, and less of a determination to have your way both in word and in deed. In the course you are now pursuing, instead of being a house-band, you will be as a vise to compress and distress others. . . . {AH 225.1}

In trying to force others to carry out your ideas in every particular, you often do greater harm than if you were to yield these points. This is true even when your ideas are right in themselves, but in many things they are not correct; they are overstrained as the result of the peculiarities of your organization; therefore you drive the wrong thing in a strong, unreasonable manner. {AH 225.2}

You have peculiar views in regard to managing your family. You exercise an independent, arbitrary power which permits no liberty of will around you. You think yourself sufficient to be head in your family and feel that your head is sufficient to move every member, as a machine is moved in the hands of the workmen. You dictate and assume authority. This displeases Heaven and grieves the pitying angels. You have conducted yourself in your family as though you alone were capable of self-government. It has offended you that your wife should venture to oppose your opinion or question your decisions. {AH 226.1}

Brother B should soften; he should cultivate refinement and courtesy. He should be very tender and gentle toward his wife, who is his equal in every respect; he should not utter a word that would cast a shadow upon her heart. He should begin the work of reformation at home; he should cultivate affection and overcome the coarse, harsh, unfeeling, and ungenerous traits of his disposition. {AH 227.1}

The husband and father who is morose, selfish, and overbearing is not only unhappy himself, but he casts gloom upon all the inmates of his home. He will reap the result in seeing his wife dispirited and sickly and his children marred with his own unlovely temper. {AH 227.2}

An Egotistical and Intolerant Husband.–You expect too much of your wife and children. You censure too much. If you would encourage a cheerful, happy temper yourself and speak kindly and tenderly to them, you would bring sunlight into your dwelling instead of clouds, sorrow, and unhappiness. You think too much of your opinion; you have taken extreme positions, and have not been willing that your wife’s judgment should have the weight it should in your family. You have not encouraged respect for your wife yourself nor educated your children to respect her judgment. You have not made her your equal, but have rather taken the reins of government and control into your own hands and held them with a firm grasp. You have not an affectionate, sympathetic disposition. These traits of character you need to cultivate if you want to be an overcomer and if you want the blessing of God in your family. {AH 227.3}

Husbands Should Merit Love and Affection.–If the husband is tyrannical, exacting, critical of the actions of his wife, he cannot hold her respect and affection, and the marriage relation will become odious to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not try to make himself lovable. Husbands should be careful, attentive, constant, faithful, and compassionate. They should manifest love and sympathy. . . . When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind, that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation. . . . He will seek to keep his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create an atmosphere of peace in the home circle. {AH 228.2}

 Ellen White on Marriage (part 1)  Tender Ties That Bind

Ellen White on Marriage (part 2)  Love Is a Precious Gift From Jesus

Ellen White on Marriage (part 3)  The Secret of Family Unity

Ellen White on Marriage (part 4)  The Husband’s Equal

Ellen White on Marriage (part 5)  Hearts to Be Bound by the Silken Cord of Love

Ellen White on Marriage (part 6)  Give a Living Example of Self-control

Ellen White on Marriage (part 7)  How Satan Gains Entrance to the Soul

8 Responses to “Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) The Secret of Family Unity”

  1. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  2. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  3. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  4. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  5. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  6. […] Ellen White on Marriage (part 3) […]

    Like

  7. malar said

    I need advised can I asked here pls reply me urgent thanks

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: